I was looking forward to my 32 week appointment at the hospital. This was the appointment where my caesar was to be booked, or so I had been told by every obstetrician and midwife I had seen leading up to this point. It was an “overbook” appointment meaning two doctors would be in attendance. I agreed that a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesar) was too risky with twins (two lots of pushing putting double the strain on my previous scar) and as I like to be organised (not that you can tell looking at my house a lot of the time but I swear its true) getting this date was reassuring for me. Of course I also understand twins can come early so this date was just an “if not before” booking.
I was somewhat confused when I was called in and there was only one obstetrician but thought I had gotten that part of it wrong when we began the paperwork for the caesarian. It wasn’t until the obstetrician began wrapping up the appointment I asked about the date. I was given the
idiotic very helpful answer that “someone will call you sometime to arrange that”.. Yes that is a direct quote. No, really, a direct word-for-word quote. I questioned this as my paper schedule I was given at my very first appointment, and everyone else I had seen, had told me something very different. He was adamant. “So can you at least give me an approximate date please, I have a four year old at home I need to organise, and my husband’s work to inform?” I asked very politely (a warning sign for anyone who knows me. Just like my Dad, the more polite I get the greater I am getting pissed off and the more trouble there will be). Normally elective caesars are booked for the Friday of the 37th week apparently and so I was looking at around the 29th of March.
Now here is the problem with that date, it’s Good Friday. This is not a problem for me but is for the hospital apparently. “Don’t worry we’ll just push you out to 38 weeks” I was cheerily informed.
OK now here’s my problem with that solution:
1. I seriously don’t think I can physically make it to 38 weeks even if the twins can. I’m already on modified bed rest (no bed -unless I want to lol – but very limited activity) and I have to use crutches because of my pelvic instability.
2. I hate when plans change when they’ve been considered set (I know not good but it’s true)
3. I will admit it was also a big excitement killer, or let down, to have another week just whacked onto the end willy-nilly
I did try to explain point one as eloquently as possible, without crying as I know that wouldn’t help, but knew it wasn’t doing any good. Either he couldn’t or wouldn’t adjust the date.
So here is what has me most upset and just a little angry. I DO NOT want these precious bubbas to come before it is safe for them to do so. I DO NOT want my pain, discomfit or inability to basically move put them in a position where NICU or special care was required. I definitely DO NOT want my
impatience excitement to meet them to put them at risk. However there must certainly be a time where it is agreed my babies are in the good to go zone and my physical, mental and emotional health can then become a priority too, yes? If 37 weeks is full term for twins what is the difference between 36 +6 and 37 +1 (original thought for date)?
What upset and angered me most was that I left feeling that my pain and inability to move very far was not a consideration. What I felt was that I was a vessel carrying two precious bundles, a thing with no rights or feelings, some thing not to be considered. And I am definitely NOT JUST AN INCUBATOR!
What do you think? Am I over reacting, hormonal, or selfish? Or am I justified in these thoughts? Or is it somewhere in between?